This web site is a spoof! It was created as an April Fools’ Day joke on April 1st, 2016
Get Britain Sleeping - Official Launch
Reflecting the ground-breaking work of Professor Pat Norsh and Dr Luc Tood at Schlafgut University in Germany, the Get Britain Sleeping Campaign was launched at a VIP reception in London on April 1st, 2016. Forward-thinking employers are signing up ‘in their droves’, reported Campaign Manager, Craig Doppelganger. ’We have had excellent interest from the press and TV and our social media campaign is also gaining followers at an amazing rate’.
As may be expected, a closely-linked industry is already emerging. Following the campaign launch, designers of enabling technologies such as snooze apps and ‘productivity pyjamas’ are already marketing their wares to HR and Wellbeing Managers
Expect to see news stories on TV and in the tabloid press in the near future.
‘New Data Demands an Attitude Change’, say Researchers
Dramatic new research has just been published by Professor Pat Norsh and Dr Luc Tood in the Faculty of Sleep Sciences at the University of Schlafgut, Germany. ‘Reviewing the polysomnographic (PSG) data produced some anomalies that were impossible to explain until we created our new ’napping’ model’, said Dr Tood.
As a result, the researchers recommend a brand new approach to sleep requirements, slumber patterns and, in particular, cat napping. The new data suggests that the long-standing belief in the importance of ‘a good night’s sleep’ is misplaced. On the contrary, prolonged ‘single session’ sleeping may be bad for your health! Little and often is the new thinking.
Ground-Breaking Proposals Published as a Result of new Research
‘Snoozologists’ at Schlafgut University in Germany have published the following dramatic observations as a result of recent sleep research:
- Habits formed during adolescence result in many adults adopting slumber-prone behaviours in later life
- Too much sleep is detrimental to productivity
- Sleep as a night-time activity is an 'old school' view that fails to recognise the benefits of sleeping during daylight
- Short bursts of work interspersed with brief but intense bouts of sleep can optimise performance in a similar way to high-intensity interval training (HIIT)
As a result of their extensive research (n=zzzz), Professor Pat Norsh and his colleague, Dr Luc Tood, make the following recommendation:
Work routines should be broken at least once an hour with a short sleep of 3-7 minutes
EU to Rule on Sleep Directive
Discussions are taking place at the European Commission as to whether EU Public Health should commission a Sleep Directive. Recent research suggests that established attitudes to sleep requirements and growing concerns about sleep deprivation indicate a strong demand for clear guidance about sleep in the workplace.
On the morning of April 1st 2016, EU Minister, Mez Dorbien, made the following statement: ‘There is currently no provision for a Sleep Directive in our Third Health Programme which is part of the EU ‘Together for Health’ strategy programme running until 2020. However, we are looking carefully at this issue with a view to creating a discussion document over the next 18 months’.
What Can Employers Do?
To facilitate and encourage healthy and productive behaviours, employers should consider providing:
- Quiet Zones
- Sleep Pods
- Personal lockers for duvets and pillows
- Lavender essence dispersed through air-conditioning
- Training sessions to teach staff how to 'fall asleep anywhere' (Trainers for these sessions can usually be found at low cost amongst the teenage children of staff members)
- Team-building exercises built around the sleep theme (e.g. design a duvet, pillow stuffing, interpreting dreams)
Can Sleepwalking Improve Productivity?
When questioned about the need for further research, Dr Tood replied 'We are currently working with a treadmill manufacturer on a viability study to establish the potential for 'healthy sleepwalking' - a methodology to address both the sleep needs and the cardiovascular benefits of combining these two activities'.
This site was created and published as an April Fools' hoax in the interests of public entertainment and personnel productivity by Osmond Ergonomics, the UK’s most knowledgeable supplier of innovative products and services to improve workplace wellbeing and productivity.
Disclaimer:
We made all this stuff up. Any resemblance to genuine research, actual facts or real people (alive, dead or just sleeping) is entirely coincidental and highly unlikely. No responsibility will be accepted for disciplinary action or employment jeopardy as a result of reader gullibility. If you found this article informative and useful, please seek counselling through your employer or GP. If, however, you found it entertaining but valueless, you may be interested in some of our more meaningful articles here.